Was the sex amazing, did you have a connection with a person, was there pleasure and consent, and yet you wanted to cry – or even cry – and did you feel bad about sex?

This seems rather counterintuitive, since most people intuitively expect to feel well and relaxed after sex. But for some people this does not always happen. I see many cases in my consultations at the sexuality clinic and on the Sexo Sem Dúvida platform.

Because satisfaction and pleasure are subjective, there is no single treatment for postsexual dysphoria. If this worries you, seek help from a psychologist who specializes in human sexuality – Credit: Pexels/ND

Sexual activity often results in feelings of sexual, physical, and emotional satisfaction, as well as positive emotions. However, feelings such as sadness, anxiety, a feeling of emptiness and shame after reaching an orgasm for no apparent reason can occur in some people. Know that this has a name, it’s called post-sexual dysphoria, commonly referred to as “post-sexual blues”. And it’s more common than we think.

In some cases, the irritation is so strong that instead of sharing a pleasant moment with a partner, a person suffering from post-sexual dysphoria may behave sadly, tensely, and even rudely after intercourse. And it can hurt relationships.

Advances in research have shown that post-sexual dysphoria can be more complex than negative emotions. Sexuality and sex life affect people’s physical, emotional and relationship well-being (regardless of gender identity and affective sexual orientation) and therefore their quality of life.

Because sexuality is complex and varied, it still needs to be better understood and explored. It is very important to know the factors that help improve sexual response or that may impair your performance.

I have already cited here in another conversation the sexual response cycle, where I just mentioned the Decoupling, which is the last phase of the human sexual response cycle (Desire – Arousal – Orgasm – Release).

Resolution is still the least explored phase, and therefore the least understood. Perhaps because it is closely related to the subjectivity of each person and because it does not yet have well-defined references to behavior and symptoms.

The resolution phase is the key moment of sex

By definition, the resolution phase is the psychological and physiological state that occurs immediately after sexual activity. It is the subjective experience of well-being after pleasure. It can also happen without the person reaching orgasm, but with satisfying, pleasurable sexual activity.

Advances in research have shown that post-sexual dysphoria can be even more complex than negative emotions such as feeling sad and irritable. And yet it may be more common in people who already have a mental illness.

The quality of the Permission phase, your emotional well-being, your sexual satisfaction, and the quality of your sexual activity and your relationship can be the topics of your sexual psychotherapy. Naming negative emotions is one of the first steps to regulating and striving for a fulfilling sex life.

If you have identified yourself in this reading, if you experience negative emotions after sex, know that you are not alone. Adverse sexual situations need further clarification and discussion. Because satisfaction and pleasure are subjective, there is no single treatment for postsexual dysphoria. If this worries you, seek help from a psychologist who specializes in human sexuality.