Today I invite you to think about men’s sexual health, especially in the context of premature ejaculation (premature/rapid ejaculation). In many ways, some responsibilities for sex, including the problem of premature ejaculation, usually fall on women.

However, it is important to explore and understand the complexity of this situation, moving away from blame and promoting a more open and empathetic approach to intimacy and sexual health.

Responsibility for one’s own body and that of one’s partner often falls disproportionately on women, giving rise to common questions and beliefs in the sexuality clinic. – Photo: Reproduction / Pexels

Responsibility for their bodies and their partners’ bodies often falls disproportionately on women, which gives rise to common questions and beliefs that come to my clinic and the Sexo sem Dúvida platform that many share.

Questions like “am I responsible or did I contribute to this?” are common, as are statements such as: “he said he ejaculated quickly because I was so hot” or “he said he couldn’t hold it in because I didn’t do what he asked.”

The first thing you need to know is that men have more control over their bodies and their sexual desires than you think. And yes, it is quite possible that he is very aroused by you and is learning to control his ejaculation. In this process, you may be a learning partner rather than a responsible one.

Two Fundamental Points About Premature Ejaculation

A man is responsible for his own ejaculation. Each person has control over their own body and sexual experience. It is important to distinguish ejaculation from orgasm. Although they can occur simultaneously, they are different phenomena. In other words, very simply, orgasm is the peak sensation of pleasure, which includes physical and emotional aspects.

This may coincide with ejaculation, that is, the release of seminal fluid. But it is important to emphasize that ejaculation is not always associated with pleasure. And pleasure is not necessarily associated with ejaculation. These are independent responses, including at the cerebral level, and should not be interpreted as indicators of sexual activity.

But do you know what premature ejaculation is? I ask this question because a lack of information about a person’s sexuality, combined with distorted beliefs riddled with beliefs and myths, can lead to an unsatisfactory sex life filled with guilt.

Before you give up your sex life, it’s important to understand what’s going on and how things might change. It is extremely important to consider the dynamics of the couple before thinking about a possible diagnosis of premature ejaculation. The approach is not to find someone to blame, but rather to find solutions for a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

Premature ejaculation, also known in everyday parlance as “rapid ejaculation,” is the most common sexual dysfunction among men. Simply put, it occurs when, in some or all relationships, a man ejaculates before or shortly after penetration begins. In most cases, the causes have more to do with psychological and learning aspects than physical problems.

What happens to men who experience premature ejaculation? The main difficulty observed is focusing on sex. Often the worry of not ejaculating quickly becomes so dominant that they forget to connect and enjoy the pleasure and end up stuck in a cycle of sexual failure. It is worth noting that the sexual anxiety we have already discussed here is not always the only cause of these difficulties.

Remember that I am talking about men who suffer and are diagnosed with the condition of premature ejaculation, and not about sporadic situations or “quick ejaculation” moments. Rapid ejaculation is a condition that can occur in any relationship, at least at some point in life.

Ejaculation x orgasm

What’s more, men are more likely than you might think to ejaculate without feeling an orgasm. If rapid ejaculation is causing discomfort or dissatisfaction in a relationship, it is recommended that you consult a specialist in a person’s sexuality.

Given the complexity and diversity of sexuality, it is impossible to exhaust the topic with mere reflection. Each person is unique, and there is no strict “normal” when it comes to timing sexual intercourse. The duration varies from person to person, situation to situation, relationship to relationship. Several factors influence how quickly a man ejaculates, including arousal level, stress, physical and emotional health, and others.

Finally, responsibility for the time it takes a man to ejaculate should not be placed solely on the partner. As I always say, the most important thing is to build a relationship based on communication, understanding, agreement and mutual respect.