We live in a world in which concepts such as love and relationships are constantly transforming. We navigate as best we can between unattainable ideals and distorted expectations, between WhatsApp messages and Instagram photos. Authenticity becomes the currency when the world of computer technology imposes the superficiality of quick contact through an application. it doesn’t give me life. For all its rudeness. Our minds try in vain to adapt to a reality in which only a few are born, and all of them are under 20 years old. Mental health problems, increasingly present in society, bring back to us the idea that human relationships are the true DNA of what, according to statistics, almost all of us seek: happiness.

In the midst of all this, voices appear that try to bring us back to reality, combining rudeness and understanding. Such is the case with Sylvia Llop, known as the “love psychologist,” who delves into the intricacies of human relationships not only to illuminate the dark corners where destructive patterns lurk, but also to celebrate the transformative power of true love, when it exists. . , or we create it. Doesn’t matter. Using a direct and non-judgmental approach, Sylvia invites reflection on how our past experiences, cultural influences and family patterns influence our current relationships, offering a path to self-awareness and emotional maturity that speaks volumes.

Ask.- “Screw it, you deserve better!”

Reply.- Hello Juanma, you have entered directly.

IN.- Well, that’s the title of your book. In fact, when pronouncing the “i” I recommend that it be a little longer than the others so that the message is more intense. By the way, why should we send him to hell?

A.- Because sometimes we stay in the stories that hurt us and create a fantasy that things will get better. Since we want to stay there, it’s important to use strong words to send the message: history doesn’t go there. We need to learn to fall off, to make that mental click that we need.

IN.- Recently, the Anar Foundation spoke about the number of calls from young people who do not realize that they are in a situation of violence, which they even naturalize in relationships. Are we inclined to do this?

A.- We are not trained to create healthy relationships and discover what is not there. We grew up watching movies, with the “get married, have kids and be a useful woman or man” mentality. But movies don’t talk about that moment when you have to come to terms with the fact that the story didn’t work. No, you jump to the next one and that’s it. We don’t allow ourselves to grieve because movies don’t talk about it.

IN.- Is there hell in our emotional relationships?

A.- Transparent. And the fire burns brighter when we are not aware of the signs that appear in the beginning, because we normalize them. No one is perfect, but leaving the toilet lid open is not the same as checking your cell phone.

IN.- Are some of the lyrics influenced by the culture of reggaeton and violence?

A.- There are songs that shouldn’t be there, but what’s really important about this is education. It’s true that if you listen to a song that encourages abuse or watch a movie that does it, it’s like watching a murder on a TV show: you don’t come away wanting to do it later, but everything creates thought patterns.

IN.- In these times of haste, overwork and anxiety among adults, there seems to be a lack of ethical education in the family. After all, do TikTok songs and videos educate children?

A.- Yes, that’s the message. To see an example, we’re not going to follow it, but if we don’t have another reference, what are we going to follow?

IN.- What are the main signs that our relationship is not right for us?

A.- Firstly: your intuition is needed for something. In most cases, you have already sensed the negative aspects of the relationship. Then you start ignoring the signs, making excuses for them, asking friends or parents to find out if this is normal. Well the answer is no. If something is bothering you and you feel it is not normal, you should address it. These may be your wounds and the other person did nothing, but they are important to take care of. The moment you don’t take care of yourself, we have a problem. Then, when you describe your relationship by saying something like “when we’re good, we’re good,” that’s a very bad sign. This clearly means that “when you are bad, you are very bad.” It is also a very bad sign if you feel like there is never any conflict in your relationship. What often happens is that when a problem arises, everything gets swept under the rug. But the day will come when you step on it and all the garbage will fill the whole house because you didn’t take care of it.

IN.- In a healthy relationship… “you have problems and you solve them”?

A.- Fully. One of the most important indicators of compatibility is the ability to cope with conflicts. Because that’s what will happen. Sooner or later you will have to come to an agreement. Well-managed conflict moves the relationship forward.

IN.- It takes courage. And not everyone understands that relationships don’t always have to be a bed of roses.

A.- It’s inconvenient, but if you’re looking for comfort, stay. lonely and have problems with yourself.