Female friendships are a fundamental part of many women’s lives, providing support, understanding and participation. However, as with any relationship, limits must be set to ensure a healthy and long-lasting coexistence. Each person has their own personality, and it is important to allow yourself moments of solitude and reflection without feeling intruded.

The basis of healthy relationships in female friendships is recognizing and respecting the other person’s personal space and your own. Photo: Freepik/ND

Lais Nayane, born in Bahia, recently experienced a difficult situation with her friend when she invited her to her birthday. “I started preparing a month before my birthday. Everything happened very quickly, but I knew exactly what I wanted. Just friends. I sent out invitations and, to my surprise, received a message from my best friend asking if her boyfriend could come too,” says Lais.

Explaining to her friend, Lais emphasized that she would like the birthday to be held only among friends, because that way she would feel more freedom to dance and celebrate. The rationale was not well received.

“She said she would never go anywhere where her boyfriend was not welcome. This happened before when I called her for some reason. But, I admit, I didn’t expect such an answer at all, because we had been friends for more than six years and it was my birthday,” says Lais.

After the quarrel, communication between them was completely interrupted. “She didn’t come to my birthday, didn’t understand anything and didn’t talk to me anymore. For a few days I wondered if I did the right thing by calling only friends, but I received a lot of advice that I was right, that everyone has their own ideal way to celebrate, and this was my way,” Lais commented.

Psychologist clarifies questions about female friendship

Setting limits often involves learning to say “no” when necessary, as well as learning to listen to “no.” Respecting each other’s ability to make commitments helps avoid disappointment and conflict.

Psychologist Vanessa Cardoso says that “today we talk so much about abusive relationships between men and women or in romantic couples, but we don’t talk much about abuse in friendships. From the moment I believe that the other person should fully accept the situation with me, my boyfriend, who I want to take with me, there is immaturity there,” he warns.

By setting and respecting boundaries, female friendships can flourish. Photo: Freepik/ND

Vanessa explains that it is necessary to set boundaries between relationships. You need to know how to separate meetings with friends from meetings with a romantic partner. In fact, being emotionally dependent on spending full time with your boyfriend can trigger a number of relationship problems.

When a person becomes overly dependent on their partner to meet their emotional and even personality needs, it can lead to a harmful imbalance.

The psychologist says Lais’s friend’s radical reaction could be a consequence of her low tolerance for disappointment. “I always joke that “disappointment is the ticket to adulthood.” The more disappointed we become, the more we realize that life is not what we would like,” he explains.

According to Vanessa, people become adults at different times. In some cases it is possible to continue the relationship in this way, but in others it is not. “When we realize that our friend is in a different moment, no matter how much they are hurting, sometimes a healthy separation occurs,” Vanessa explains about distance in friendship.

How to Reverse Quarrels in Female Friendships

To reverse situations of quarrels between friends, the psychologist says that dialogue, calm explanation of reasons and understanding of both sides are the key to a healthier emotional connection.

Dialogue is the solution to ease quarrels in female friendships. Photo: Freepik/ND

The case of Lais and her friend not only illustrates the complexities of female friendships, but also offers valuable lessons about the importance of communication and emotional understanding for the sustainability of these relationships.

By setting and respecting these boundaries, relationships between friends can flourish, providing valuable support and meaningful connection. After all, true friendship is built on a solid foundation of respect, understanding and mutual acceptance.