Have you ever heard this famous story? “I ended a long-term marriage and felt nothing. However, after the end of a shorter relationship, I suffered greatly.” This happens to many people, but do you know why?

Why do many women suffer more from the end of a one-month affair than from the end of a long-term relationship? – Photo: Pexels/Reproduction/ND

The reason this happens is simple. Psychologist and psychotherapist Olinda Lily Zachariah explains that this happens because a person is tired of the relationship, especially when they are exposed to content that causes them to rethink the relationship.

“Therefore, it is likely that the person will not miss it, as he will be relieved to end a relationship that was on its way out,” notes Zachariah.

The expert states that the person will begin to experience a feeling of freedom that he has not experienced before. “What will she miss? From pain? – he asks.

Waking up from reality is not so easy

A 20-year-old woman, who did not want to reveal her identity, reports that six months after the end of a three-year relationship, she met a guy. Although they were not seriously committed, when the time came to separate, the experience was not very pleasant.

“I suffered a lot because of what was just an accident. Today I overcame it, but it took time,” the woman recalls.

Olinda explains that this happens because at first the person is surrounded by idealizations and fantasies. So it’s like I’m living a pure dream. “When it ends, a person seems to wake up from this dream, which he wants to restore. This is what causes such sadness,” says the specialist.

What leads to relationship breakdown

Usually such relationships no longer bring people joy. Olinda explains that you experience this joy when you share moments with someone, that is, when the relationship is not conducive to personal growth and building a better future.

Therefore, a person will not miss what has not happened for years. The expert explains that when we stop developing relationships, they gradually cool down.

The woman mentioned above recalls that in her previous relationships, even without arguments, the connection deteriorated over time. She described the relationship as boring and purely based on convenience.

After the breakup, she and her ex-partner remained friends, but she emphasizes that she can no longer feel anything other than friendship for him. “All the love that existed in the beginning dissipated over time.”

According to Olinda, even in the absence of conflicts, the lack of nourishment from connections leads to distancing, as a result of which both feel loneliness. Therefore, there is no room for homesickness, since loneliness was already present.

At the end of a long-term relationship, fleeting encounters often occur. The psychologist emphasizes that these short-term meetings cannot be generalized, since not all of them will be pleasant for people.

Personal assessment

“Some people leave relationships and immediately seek to connect with other people, often because they feel lonely and feel like they need someone’s presence to feel valued,” Zachariah points out.

Therefore, the psychologist emphasizes that at the end of a relationship it is important to make a choice in favor of maturity and personal development.

“At this point, a person must reflect on what is truly important in his life, and not give up his own satisfaction because of another person or circumstances,” he concludes.