Zoya is a respected woman, married to a man she has loved since childhood, and has a couple of children. Your life is stable. But she meets an artist with whom she spends several nights. And also with a cruel man who threatens to hurt her. She tries to hide her desire for sex, which is getting stronger and stronger. So, he decides to find a therapist to whom he tells all his stories before this relationship crosses the line. As Zoey multiplies her dates and new sexual partners, she tries to hide her double life from her family and friends.

After all, what characterizes sexual coercion in women if society values ​​excessive sex? – Photo: Pexels/North Dakota

This could be a clinical vignette, but this is a synopsis for The Secret Life of Zoe (2015). For ethical reasons, I decided to give this example, which illustrates our conversation today about forced sex, and leave the advice here.

“Am I compelled to have sex?” This question appears more and more often in my clinical consultations, as well as on the Sexo sem Dúvida portal. But is it really coercion? What is sexual coercion?

It is important to know that this is still a controversial topic in the scientific world. The lack of consensus prevents us from having well-defined diagnostic criteria. But what do we have then?

For gender reasons, nymphomania or exacerbation of sexual behavior in women is diagnosed more often than in men, given that in our society they are expected to exacerbate sexual behavior. So what could be addiction or coercion in a society that values ​​sexual excess?

Women experiencing compulsion to have sex

Sexually abused women have a strong and uncontrollable need for sexual behavior, even if it has negative consequences for their lives. They may think about sex all day long, compulsively watch pornography, compulsively masturbate, and constantly look for different sexual partners, even if it involves great risk.

The causes of sexual abuse are many and complex and cause suffering and hardship in the intimate lives of those who experience it. I will look at some of the factors that may contribute to the development of compulsive behavior related to sex, that is, sexual coercion: past traumatic experience; sudden changes in hormone levels; psychological disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); restrictive social rules about female sexual experiences and unrealistic expectations about sex.

Thus, defining the boundaries of what is healthy and what is considered an addiction in relation to sexual coercion can be tricky. As described, it depends on several factors, including psychological, hormonal, cultural context, personal values, impact on daily life, and emotional well-being.

In general, sexual behavior is considered healthy when there is consent, it does not cause significant harm to the life of the woman or others involved, does not interfere with daily activities, and does not cause undue suffering or stress.

On the other hand, sexual coercion occurs when sexual behavior becomes out of control, significantly impairs quality of life, interferes with personal relationships, work, or other important areas of life, and causes emotional stress and ongoing suffering.

In addition, sexual addiction is typically characterized by a loss of control over sexual behavior, where a person is unable to stop or reduce their sexual activity despite negative consequences, such as exposure to situations of sexual abuse.

What characterizes the tendency to sexual coercion

Usually compulsive sexual behavior is lived in secret, you have to live a double life. There is also suffering for the fact that she behaves differently from her life values. A sexually abused woman cannot control this behavior and in many cases does not feel a lack of control. And when you ask yourself, “What am I doing with my life? This person does not even attract me. I don’t like having sex this way. I had to take emergency contraception several times. I feel dirty.”

It is important to emphasize that sexual coercion is real and can cause severe distress to those affected. It is characterized by intense and repetitive thoughts, fantasies, sexual behaviors that cause suffering and significantly interfere with the person’s daily life.

Know that if you or someone you know is dealing with sexual abuse issues, you need to seek specialized psychological help to get the guidance, support, and treatment you need to experience healthy sexuality. In addition to the psychotherapeutic process, there is a DASA (Love and Sex Addictions Anonymous) support group that also helps to cope with social stigma, family, social and work disorders of people suffering from sexual abuse.