Breaking up is a test, and when a relationship comes to an end, there are often significant emotional hurdles to overcome that can seem insurmountable. However, there is hope and support to help you get through this difficult time.

Is the relationship over? See what to do – Photo: Pexels/Reproduction/ND

In this matter no data+ dives into psychologist Vanessa Cardoso’s views on relationships. Also, learn about the inspiring case of someone who has successfully survived a breakup.

Is the relationship over?

“The first move is to embrace the pain of the end of a relationship. So in this sense, crying, I sometimes joke with my patient, sometimes I even understand that this is mourning, ”explains Vanessa.

According to the therapist, it is important to feel in the first moment, even if it hurts to realize that the relationship is over.

“That you will need to let the person go so that you can continue and follow him. So in that first moment, the healthiest feeling is to feel even if you’re done or left behind,” he adds.

To help someone who wants to get over the end of a relationship is to connect with the person, with who they are, in a very real, coherent way, for example, if I like to speak the language. she explains.

Do what helps you

“Introducing these things into everyday life and remembering personal characteristics. From breaking up to understanding that life is happening and promoting things that are beneficial in your daily life,” says Vanessa.

In terms of therapeutic technique, Cardoso thinks it’s very interesting to go back into psychotherapy, to look at your problems, to understand what part of you was the cause of such a breakup.

It is very important for Cardoso to take care of yourself and understand that the relationship is over, not life, and take care of yourself so that life continues in a certain way.

“I think it’s also a reimagining of what relationships are. To express this reconstruction of self-esteem, in fact, it may never have existed.”

Because, according to the expert, family ties are broken.

“Recognize the standards that are being introduced in relation, on the basis of these standards, recognize the part that needs growth and improvement. Because usually the pattern comes from some kind of symptomatology of something external, ”he says.

Cardoso believes that the first way for a person to get over an ending relationship is not to keep in touch with the former.

“Avoid seeking information, try to connect with your own life and embrace it,” he advises.

In practice: Marcelo talks about how to turn the page

In order to better understand separation and the difficulties of separation, Marcelo’s lawyer has outlined some methods based on the actual experience of this fact. According to him, the first few months are very difficult.

“But I recommend not to suppress or hold back any feelings. Cry in the mood and don’t try to cancel or save anything. As Guimarães Rosa said, “Refresh your heart.” Suffer, suffer, rather, so that new joys come. It is important to feel and give time without depriving yourself of pain and tears,” the heart opens.

According to the lawyer, “It may seem paradoxical, but suffering a lot at the beginning without trying to suppress the pain is the first step towards making subsequent days more peaceful. It’s really important to get rid of what hurts you so that you can then rethink everything that was more rational.”

Take care

It is also important for Marcelo to remember to eat well and exercise.

“We cannot forget to take even more care of ourselves at a time when we accept our own fragility. Even if the feeling of loss and sadness stops you at first, it is important once you can remember that you still exist and you need to protect yourself,” he advises.

The lawyer believes that it is necessary to take care of their own physical health, to speed up mental recovery.

“Realize that holding yourself back is part of the process. And taking care of yourself means taking care of your own physical health to speed up your mental recovery. After all, body and mind are not separate things,” he explains.

Activities to keep your mind and body busy after a breakup

According to Marcelo, after the initial suffering (which is the hardest to deal with).

“You will have a good time to look for new discoveries. Take a course that interests you, go on a journey you’ve always wanted to take, start a new sport, yoga, or even look for new social groups to connect with after graduation,” he explains.

Social support, whether friends, family or support groups to share your emotions and experiences

When asked about the problem of the support network, Marcelo spoke sincerely and deeply and gave advice.

“My moment is not so much about seeking social support. I’m still more introspective. But I know this is an important next step in the process of overcoming.

For a lawyer, many people find valuable help in therapy to get past the end of a situation and work through and deal with their own feelings.

He states that “without a doubt, therapy is an important ally for self-discovery and the freedom to live a fulfilling life.”

“I intend to seek the help of a professional in the near future to deal with these and other issues. Everyone should do it.”

Valuable Lessons Learned from Layoff and Applications for Personal Growth

Marcelo reiterates that time is the best medicine to overcome any grieving process once a relationship has ended. “Give it time. Learning depends on your own efforts to design, rethink and rethink everything,” he says.

“It’s good to have the humility to admit your mistakes and shortcomings that contributed to the end of the relationship,” but the lawyer also warns: “Be careful not to blame yourself or the other. It is irresistible to blame someone, but at the same time it makes it difficult to see the relationship in its entirety (with all the factors that surround it).”

“Regardless of the relationship, it is important to remember that two people build it. Both are involved in its beginning, its development and its end,” he says.

For him, as soon as the passion and emotional dependence that arises when you suddenly find yourself alone again is overcome. “You yourself will be able to learn from what you have been through,” he guarantees.

“Meetings and mismatches are part of life. Sharing your time with someone has its gold, and even after that moment is over, you will never be the same again. This is the best that can be, ”says the lawyer.

People are very different and we tend to measure others with our own personal ruler, but for Marcelo it doesn’t work, “everyone lives and feels differently”.

“And in this collision of different worlds, we learned a lot about ourselves and people. To deprive yourself of this out of fear is not worth suffering again. Each experience is unique and worth living differently at different times,” he concludes.