Are you familiar with that brief and intense feeling of pleasure that takes you out of your state of consciousness, causes involuntary and pleasurable contractions of the body, and promotes physical, emotional satisfaction and well-being? This is one of the definitions of orgasm. If you are not already familiar with this feeling, you may be suffering from anorgasmia.

Know that orgasms change with life cycles, couple cycles, and medical issues — Photo: Freepik/Disclosure/ND

Anorgasmia, also known as female orgasmic disorder, is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions in sex therapy rooms, including my clinical appointments and on sextosemduvida.com.

Many women note periodic or persistent inhibition of orgasm, which can be manifested by a complete absence or delay of orgasm, that is, a woman may not have an orgasm or it may come after a long time.

As discussed in previous reflections, it is important to remember that in order to talk about anorgasmia and its types, there must be a phase of sexual desire and arousal that is suitable for each woman, given its intensity and duration.

Anorgasmia can be divided into:

Elementary: when a person has never been aware of the sensation of orgasm during any sexual activity. That is, neither in sexual intercourse, nor in masturbation.

Secondary: when a person loses the ability to experience an orgasm after experiencing it previously.

Situational: when a person cannot achieve orgasm in certain situations or with certain people.

Generalized: when a person cannot achieve orgasm in any situation.

The main causes of anorgasmia

There are several reasons (organic, social and psychological) that can interfere with “orgasm problems”. Such as, for example, beliefs and myths about sex, ignorance of one’s own body, inadequate sex education, low self-esteem, guilt, hormonal imbalances, medication, sexual trauma, depression, pelvic injuries, discomfort in partnership, relationship difficulties, thoughts, deviant from sexual intercourse, among other things.

And, to be considered a diagnosis of anorgasmia, there must be suffering and difficulty in obtaining orgasm, either in frequency and/or intensity, or absent, or late, weakened, or absent for at least six months. If it seems strange to you that I am talking about suffering, I will say that it is true, some women do not experience orgasm and do not report suffering, nor can we say that they have a sexual dysfunction – anorgasmia.

After recognizing anorgasmia, it is important to identify possible organic causes, and it is recommended to consult a gynecologist. If there are organic causes, it is necessary to treat them together with psychological support. In the absence of organic causes, sexual psychotherapy and, in some cases, pelvic physiotherapy are recommended.

With regard to pelvic physiotherapy, I will only venture to emphasize the importance of knowing and strengthening the pelvic floor. Knowing and having sensitivity in the genital area is very helpful in delivering sexual pleasure.

I invite you to think about two specific situations in which women may have difficulty achieving orgasm: lack of adequate and pleasurable stimulation, and lack of focus on sexual activity.

To do this, it is necessary to rethink some aspects of women’s sexual experience and sex education, such as: the desire only to please a partner; preoccupation with body/appearance; fear that someone is eavesdropping, for example, children; think about the to-do list instead of focusing on pleasure; guilt for getting pleasure, for attachment to social and sexual norms/rules.

To enjoy an orgasm, it is important to know what turns you on, why you have sex, be present in the sexual moment, and know that sex requires noise, sweat, and imagination. Let the experience flow. Remember that your skin is your largest sexual organ, allow yourself to feel what leads to excitement and pleasure.

Need to know

More women than you think don’t experience orgasms – Photo: Freepik/Disclosure/ND

It is already known that women achieve orgasm more easily (it does not have to be a race for it) through self-stimulation. Touching yourself, getting to know your body and its sensations, and exploring it beyond the erogenous zones promotes self-knowledge and sexual autonomy. Having an orgasm alone, knowing where and how your body gives you pleasure, promotes exchange with a partner and maximum pleasure.

Know that orgasms change with life cycles, couple cycles, and medical issues. And while orgasm can occur in many forms of intercourse, it is not limited to penetration.

More often than you think, women don’t know the sensation of orgasm. So, if after all this talk you have identified possible difficulties for yourself, look for a specialist in human sexuality. The lack/difficulty of orgasm can have a significant impact on your quality of life as physical, mental and sexual health go hand in hand.