In recent weeks, videos posted by women about forms of sexual practice they no longer tolerate have gone viral on social media. Virtual context created important positioning opportunities, and humor became a way to make discussions more enjoyable or even possible.

However, it is important to make a reservation: be careful! Humor can support unequal relationships when it reinforces stereotypes and promotes feelings of inferiority in women. A joke can be a disservice to your sex life.

Sex is an exchange. Not everyone will enjoy it the same way and enjoy it the same way at the same time — Photo: Pexels/Disclosure/ND

Note that I said “forms of sexual practices.” What I mean? Vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, masturbation, among others, are sexual practices. That is, by definition, sexual practice is any sexual activity aimed at obtaining pleasure, communication and / or reproduction. Women’s reflections are about how sexual positions and practices are requested and measured.

I believe that women not only make fun of sexual situations, but also shed light on sexual reality (or is it dissatisfaction?) that is the result of self-knowledge, self-permission and even autonomy. Do they have to physically deal with it in order to look good for them?

It shouldn’t be something no one notices.

Sex is, yes, physical activity. Physical exhaustion sets in, which is rewarded with subsequent pleasure and relaxation. But it shouldn’t be something no one can handle. It is important to have physical fitness, physical, mental and sexual health for any physical activity in daily life, and sex will be no exception. But does it need to be productive? Are we measuring performance? Where does pornography appear?

We cannot deny the role of pornography in sexual behavior, which manifests itself here as a requirement for performance and performance, not to mention gender issues. Are men physically stronger? Do men work more? The woman “can’t stand it”? Are men more tired during sex? Is the role of a woman in sex an easy task? Do I need to enter everything at once?

However, I will not crucify pornography, since excessive consumption of pornographic content can compromise the experience of sexuality, negatively affecting the construction of an understanding of what sex, pleasure and consent are. stimulus and sexual fantasy. There are advantages and disadvantages to using pornography, but that’s a reflection for another time.

Both need pleasure

Sex is an exchange. Not everyone will enjoy it in the same way and at the same time. If your biggest concern is how many times you go deep or how fast you jump, then it’s about the show, not the fun. Moreover, the female body cannot be understood as a mere object of pleasure without physical limitations. This can lead to distancing yourself from the person you are having sex with.

If the main concern is how many times you go deep or how fast you jump, then it’s about the spectacle, not the fun – Photo: Reproduction/Pixabay/ND

It is common knowledge that men consume pornography and expect women to fulfill their fantasies. There is an idealization performance exciting, in which the woman must experience exaggerated moans and orgasms, “squirt” large amounts of fluid, have symmetrically perfect and hairless bodies, and be able to bounce and thrust deeply for hours with minimal stimulation.

At the same time, where is communication, emotions and attachments, desires and fantasies, involvement and pleasure?

It is very important to make visible female sexuality and its dissatisfaction, for example, those brought by women in social networks. A woman’s body and her sexuality depend on more than just where the clitoris is located. It is about connection, exchange, pleasure, complicity and agreement.

So, with this reflection, I ask you: should they be physically able to be good for them? Sexuality education needs to be rethought because women are no longer willing (fortunately) to continue to please a man, whether or not she enjoys the practice of sex. If it hurts her, bothers her, or makes her feel embarrassed, it’s not cool. Obvious? Yes, women have their own will, desires and interests, and they start talking about it.