Today’s reflection is devoted to two taboo topics together: old age and sex. Because it is necessary to talk about the sexuality of older people! No taboos, no prejudice and no shame!

Sexuality in adulthood is still a subject full of beliefs and taboos. Do people older than 60, 70, 80, 90 do not (or should not) have an active and healthy sex life? Know that sexuality ends only with death and that old age is nothing but one of the stages of the life cycle: childhood, adolescence, youth, adulthood, old age.

Sexuality in old age, while common and natural, is still a taboo subject — Photo: Disclosure / Pexels

This is the stage of life in which inevitable biological changes occur, which do not necessarily prevent a full and healthy sexual life.

The World Health Organization (WHO, 2002) defines sexuality as “a central aspect of the human being throughout life and includes sex, identity, gender roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction.

Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and relationships. It is influenced by the interplay of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.”

That is, sexuality is one of the pillars of your health and covers all experiences and manifestations of tenderness, affection and love. In addition to respect for the closeness of each person and person with other people and the world.

Sex is a dimension of sexuality.

The emphasis on the word sex in my definition is to show that sex, the sexual act itself, is one of the manifestations of human sexuality. And since sex is one of the dimensions of sexuality, therefore one of the dimensions of life, it is also part of old age.

Because sex as an activity and behavior requires stimulation, training, time, and availability, and because research has shown that young people have sex less regularly, I dare say that yes, your grandmother (mother, great aunt) can have sex. more sex than you!

Some people might be thinking right now, “Oh, but there are emotional, bodily, and physiological changes,” and they do exist. Biological changes associated with age can affect shape. For example, changes in flexibility, changes in lubrication, changes in erection. Body response time could be slower, but not in terms of enjoyment and quality. And the emotional goes in accordance with a person’s ideas about life, sex and old age.

It may soon have less frequency and less desire, but when it does, the pleasure remains the same. The experience is based on trust and affection, it is no longer curiosity (as in childhood and adolescence). This stage of life is devoted to pleasure. Here we run into another myth that can interfere with the sexual experience: sex is only for procreation.

Having a sexually active partner facilitates sexual experiences in this life cycle. It doesn’t matter if the partnership is for life or you met at the age of 70. Yes, you can fall in love and learn about life in adulthood as well.

Another important point in life, including in sexual life, is communication. There is nothing more stimulating than good dialogue and intimacy. Add to this sexy caresses, exciting touches and caresses.

Current research and reports from older people at my clinical appointments and at Sexo Sem Dúvida show that yes, sexual desire, behavior and frequency exist after 60 years of age. How does it manifest itself? How often? All this will depend on how one feels about old age and sexual activity.

If on holidays, then once a month, once a week, four times a week, every day? The desired frequency of sex for older people, as for all ages, is one that satisfies the couple.

There is a public opinion that sexual interest and activity disappear with age. But sexual desire and interest don’t end with age.

Beware of cultural restrictions such as body cult, ageism, prejudice, menopause culture, erectile dysfunction culture, and others. They can interfere with your sex life. And remember that sex is not only erection and penetration. There are several more ways to feel and give pleasure that are suitable for all ages, inclusive.

Also, if there is a decrease in the frequency of sexual intercourse, know that this does not mean the end of sexual desire or the manifestation of sexuality. This decrease is not an exact number, it depends on your frequency and life experience.

What do you need for a healthy sex life after 60? Good mental health. Depression, high in the elderly, prevents sexual intercourse.

Good Sexual Health: A positive attitude towards the sexual experience and playing with possible difficulties can stimulate physical contact and good mood.

Good physical health: take care of yourself! Physical activity and good nutrition are the usual recommendations! And finally, I return to the usual point. You know why you have sex. It will help you lead a fulfilling and healthy sex life in your 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s… Always have fun!